So yesterday at work, I was talking with another employee who typically doesn’t act like an asshole. Granted, low bar to clear, but the guy can at least hold a better conversation than the ones who believe that a conspiracy back in 1862 means every president since is illegitimate, or the one who believes we should execute pedophiles on live pay-per-view. What a blessed workplace to be in.
Anyway, yesterday the guy shows me an article about “how insane Canada is”. The article from the Post Millennial claims that a father was thrown into jail for not using the pronouns his son requested. Now, already that sent my hackles up. If someone accidentally uses the wrong pronouns or deadnames, I’ve found that a majority of trans individuals will correct and move forward. Hell, I’m guilty of it, and I’ve tried my best to keep learning. So the idea that Canada sent a man into custody for this? To crib from Among Us, “Sus”.
The article he showed me kept saying the man refused to call his “daughter” by the pronouns they wished to be after the son had already begun their transition. The boy’s mother and all medical professionals involved had signed off on the matter, and the article even mentioned that while the procedure involved was experimental, the mother and son both acknowledged and moved forward. The father, however, didn’t seem to like the idea.
So, here’s where I noticed the site’s fuckup. The father was charged with contempt of court. Not for using the wrong pronouns, but for treating the judge like an idiot. So yeah, not exactly crying tears for the guy. Then my coworker went on about how the father shouldn’t be forced to change how they speak because of the law, and how Canada had made it illegal to misgender someone. The court also held him under the charge of “family violence”, which said coworker called a “bullshit” charge. As he said, “He’s not beating their kid.” Yeah, tell my therapy over the years that violent words from my father didn’t hurt me.
Now, this was debunked by a quick Google search. The law in question, C-16, basically says that if someone wishes to be known by a certain set of pronouns, they’re in their right. It makes provisions that if you keep doing it, there are multiple options of recourse before you get to criminal trial. So, basically, you have to really work at being an asshole to get charged with this one. A higher court even noted that while the son could continue their transition, the father shouldn’t be held to a charge of “family violence”.
Then the guy changes tactics again, claiming that since the boy started his transition at 14, that it was a “dangerous decision. To quote the man, “What if they regret it later?”
What if they regret it later?
I point out that this is something that’s hurting them now. That a lot of transgender teens aren’t looking for someone to tell them, “No, you’re just confused right now. Wait until you’re an adult to make a decision like this.” Then we’ll wheel around and tell these kids, “You’re almost an adult, start making up your own mind.” I point out my uncle has known he was a gay man since he was freaking four years old, so these teens might have the same idea. And, as my wife said, “Who the fuck is he to say what they do for themselves?”
Have I mentioned I love my wife?
The worst part was how he tried to dress it up with compassion. He said it was a concern for these kids, that he worries they’re making a mistake, that one day they might want kids and can’t because of the transition. That they’re riding a popular trend and that they shouldn’t be allowed to make these calls, even with a parent’s consent. Ignoring the battery of psychological and medical checkpoints in place to make sure that this is a situation where the individual is well and truly aware of what’s going to happen, what they will go through, and that this will help them. He still thinks that one day, someone wakes up and says, “I’m not a man anymore” and can just walk down and get a surgery to become a woman.
We’re seeing a slew of bills being put forth by asshole legislators who say that they’re trying to “preserve God’s creation” by keeping trans Americans out of sports competitions, domestic violence bills, and even acknowledging them as being who they truly are. Somehow, these bastards who still have the gal to pretend to be about “small government” want to keep telling these people, “You aren’t who you say you are.”
The most telling part was that Post Millennial article (I refuse to link to that website, they don’t need the traffic) kept saying “the man’s daughter”. You’ll note, if you click the CBC link above, that they say, “son”. That, more than anything else, tells me where they keep directing their ire. Don’t blame the asshole father who won’t give their child the comfort of accepting who they are. Put it all on the kid who’s trying to move into their identity.
Telling a person trying to be comfortable in their own skin to stop trying to be who they are isn’t compassion, it’s oppression.
